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4-yr-old afraid to be alone

4-yr-old afraid to be alone

My lil 4yr old is suddenly scared to go anywhere like his room, the toilet, the bathroom, without someone coming with him. We go every time as we think its just a phase and he will grow out of it. He isn't scared of monsters. He did say there were 7 scary men in his room making faces but that's not the case at all (wondering if it was a dream) we reassure him there isn't any scary things there, take him and tell him he is safe and we will protect him. Any advice?

You are doing the right thing reassuring your son that he is safe, protected and has nothing to be frightened of. You can check out the house together to show him there is nothing to be frightened of and talk to him about his thoughts and feelings to gauge how he is responding.

Next you can support him to go to different parts of the house by himself letting him know you are there and watching him. Name what he is doing " I see you walking to your bedroom". This will assist him to know that someone is with him and help to build up his confidence.  Hopefully this should help to reduce any anxiety over time.

If he gets anxious when you leave a room, always name what you are doing . For example "I am walking over here and into the kitchen". This makes you more predictable to him and after a while he won't be interested in where you are moving to in the house as "mum says what she does" so he doesn't have to worry anymore about where you might be.

These strategies should help reduce his dependence on you to navigate his way around the house and for this phase to pass.

 

Greg Antcliff

Greg Antcliff

Registered psychologist and expert in evidence based support for parenting practices

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